Nicole vs. Life
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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