if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
