Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
