Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
