It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
