if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize