is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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