he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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