im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
