You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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