It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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