remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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