You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
