sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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