Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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