You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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