there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
