i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
