let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
