Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
