note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
