1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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