i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
All the doctor said was why
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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