He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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