This girl is more easily done than said...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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