Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize