I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
