I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
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