Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
