I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
