the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize