You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
