im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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