just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
