just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
