They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
