I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
