she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
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I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
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A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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