I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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