Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Found the puke drawer
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
whose ass print is on the piano?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Never joke about your clitoris.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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