You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
