The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
