Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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