hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize