So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
