This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
