birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
