I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
