He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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