Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm at about main and main street
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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