it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
