in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
