what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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