OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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