But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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