Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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