tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.