I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?