DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
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You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
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The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA