O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
