im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize