Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
