Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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