I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I still have a little drunk in my system
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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