thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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