That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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