He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
