If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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