He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
