He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
