I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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