she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the day after is always just damage control
drinking out of a sandbucket again
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
