After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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