we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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